As I check into my own body, heart and mind I know I am tapping into a larger inner world than just my own. As each of us ventures into our own individual minds, bodies and hearts we are entering the larger portal of what it’s like to be awake and aware. Right now especially, there is a palpable sense that everyone on the planet is feeling some of the weight of what’s going on in their own body, heart and mind – as it’s become pretty obvious that we are in this world pandemic together. I’m not a spiritual by-passer by any means, so I fully recognize that not every person or every government for instance is actually supporting each other as in “we are all in this together,” but there are few if any places on the planet that aren’t suffering in some way or another from this tragedy. Whether it’s fully conscious or not, it is indeed a display of our interconnection.
This collective and personal weight in our hearts and minds and even in our bodies now is a lot to contain isn’t it? I have personally experienced (as has my beau, who would willingly admit he’s noticed in me) some cracks in my ability to maintain an equanimous heart/mind at all times. I feel okay admitting this and being somewhat transparent so that when I say we aren’t enlightened yet, you know I know from this from personal experience as well as knowing a great many meditation teachers and thoughtful leaders admitting the same. But one thing I have experienced a lot of too, fortunately, is resiliency, flexibility, emotional intelligence and the ability to turn faster on dimes than I used to even five years ago. These are small enlightened moments some would say.
I attribute this to my practices and the capacity that we all have to be very aware of our internal landscapes of body, heart and mind. Fortunately, with practice we can tend to what we see, feel and know as it all arises in the moment, rather than days, months or decades later. It sure saves a lot of pain when we can attend to ourselves as the whispers of ‘I hurt’, ‘I’m afraid’, ‘I need attention’ are calling, rather than when they have turned into the louder manifestations and cries of neglect.
Joyce Carol Oates once wrote “self-criticism is an art form not many are qualified to practice” and as it’s inevitable that we’ll fall down, so to speak, we can practice getting up and trying again. These genuinely human cracks in the soft wall of equanimity show and can be lovingly mended over and over again.
As kindness is needed, we can practice offering it:
- With nature’s winds becoming our breath of renewal
- By inviting a soft body, and dis-inviting any particular posturing or having to be any particular way
- And by creating small acts of kindness to ourselves on a daily basis