Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Martin Aylward – Week of 16 February, 2026

    This week’s theme is: Going Gently Through the Dark

    A week of practice together, navigating both the darkness of winter and the inner states that can also feel dark, barren, wintry. A week of meditation and of community, of teachings and practice, or reminding ourselves of the preciousness and the possibilities of a flourishing human life.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Celeste Young

    Finding Refuge Within Uncertainty

    During these unprecedented times, it can be challenging to find a sense of refuge amidst the storms of uncertainty swirling around us. While the timeless teachings of the Buddhist Tradition don’t offer us lasting certainty, they do offer the possibility of finding a reliable refuge in what are known as the 3 jewels: The Buddha,…

    Read More

  • Deborah Eden Tull - Senior Dharma Teacher

    Courageous Conversations, and Speaking from the Heart

    Join us for an experiential practice and embodied inquiry into speaking from the heart and engaging in courageous conversations. Our challenges are gateways to relational presence. By bringing compassionate awareness to habits of mind that can obscure clarity within the relational field, we can perceive more clearly from the heart. Through deep listening — to…

    Read More

  • Willa Blythe Baker

    Belonging: The Dharma as a Journey to Connectedness

    Behavioral scientists have long known that human beings are wired for connection. But recent studies show that in the wake of the social isolation imposed by the Covid crisis, the world is experiencing a spike in loneliness. In such times of isolation — physical or felt — how can meditation help? What do the Buddha’s…

    Read More

  • Christelle Bonneau

    Body and space / matter and consciousness.

    How can we become more grounded and more intimate with ourselves while becoming more spacious and free from endless random mental chatter? Let’s explore in the ways in which the body is such a precious help for meditation practice and in mindfulness in everyday life. Let’s explore as well the central role of space, emptiness,…

    Read More

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of June 19, 2023

    This week’s topic is “Generosity at the Heart of One of Life’s Greatest Mysteries”. What meaning does generosity embody when we open our minds to accepting one of life’s greatest realities – that in fact we know and master very little. Let us explore the different ways in which facing our experiences with generosity allows us to let go of our preconceptions and taste all of life’s flavours and feel fully alive.

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of March 22, 2021

    This week’s theme is: Resolve to Unbind the Heart

    The word resolve can embody many meanings. This week we will see how much it offers on a Dharma path of awakening. It is made of re & solve: ‘re’ as in ‘really’, fully, with intensity; ’solve’ as in loosen, undo, or dissolve. Such a poetic and insightful combination: to intensely loosen.

    The Buddha offered teachings and practices for a path of unbinding. A path of resolve to resolve, of dedication to undoing. For dukkha is a state of high activity and reactivity: a doing of distress. Meditations are practices of skilful and subtle activity that unbuild problematic senses of self and loosen missions of reactivity. An invitation to wake up to life, in life, for life, and there in the midst of it all to resolve: to fully unbind.

    Read More