Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • The Practice of Blamelessness

    We are deeply conditioned to blame; it’s a survival strategy. Though it can feel necessary, maybe even fruitful to part of us, blaming arises out of suffering, and leads to more suffering. The process of blame is not required but we don’t always know how to put it down. How do we let it go?

    Read More

  • Justine Dawson

    The Dharma of Sex and Intimacy

    Do your dharma insights seem to fall apart in the face of romantic connection? Are you wondering what mindfulness means when it comes to sex and intimacy? As a monastic, the Buddha had little to teach on this topic, but as modern practitioners we can engage our practice to deepen our relationships and experience a…

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Martin Aylward – Week of March 30

    We’re fortunate that Martin Aywlard has generously offered to lead our daily meditation sessions for Europe and the UK. To find out more about Martin, and to view his other contributions to Sangha Live, click here. Monday, March 30 Being in the body Wednesday, April 1 The elements of bodily life Friday, April 3 Being…

    Read More

  • James Rafael

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with James Rafael – Week of April 24, 2023

    This week’s topic is “Fluidity and Flux: Gateways to a Kinder, More Inclusive World”. The Buddha’s teachings on impermanence and compassion offer us gateways to cultivate a kinder, more inclusive world for all. Impermanence connects us to a sense of fluidity and flux, where we can see through the illusion of solid binaries and fixed identities. This can inspire us toward action that includes, appreciates and holds others with kindness.

    Read More

  • Pamela Weiss

    An Appropriate Response

    What does it take to respond rather than react to the increasing complexity and divisiveness of our world? This talk will explore Buddhist teachings that illuminate the sources of our fundamental reactivity, and reveal ways to help us see and see through it.

    Read More