Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • The Sacred Morality of Our Mind

    Dana, sila and nekkhamma parami – generosity, morality and renunciation – are essential heart qualities for Buddhist practice. The ‘perfections’ create the foundation for the teachings of the Four Noble Truths. In many ways, this simplification of our…

    Read More

  • Deep Ground Living

    How can we live from the ground of presence, being ourselves in peace with others, while doing what needs to be done? This Sunday we’ll explore what is essential for living in the midst of life with both peace of mind and peace of heart.

    Read More

  • Kittisaro

    Exploring dukkha.

    Worldwide Insight talk from Kittisaro: “Exploring Dukkha”. Guided meditation, Dharma talk and Q&A.

    Read More

  • Developing the Power of Heart and Mind

    Power matters when free from any corruption of mind, gross or subtle. We need to develop our power rather than feel powerless, indecisive or exploitive. Power emerges from unification of our whole being, focussing on a priority and sometimes engaging in a level of boldness. The Buddha referred to four areas to develop inner power…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ayala Gill – Week of 03 February, 2025

    We’re delighted to have Ayala Gill leading our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they bring depth and joy to your practice.

    This week’s theme is: From Suffering To Love

    Suffering is a messenger inviting us to include more of this moment with love. Rather than fussing, numbing and fixing, we pause in the midst of reactivity to breathe, come into the body, unhook from stories and feel emotions with love. This allows us to respond to life from love. Suffering returns us to love by showing us what we leave out of its limitless embrace.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More