Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • The Power of Change

    We wish for change. The time of the old is up. Its structures, habits and perspectives have lost their appeal. We sense the potential for something fresh to start. We can witness change. Feel victimized or beaten by it. Or find ways of empowerment and respond with wisdom. Meditation, mindfulness and reflection provide the tools…

    Read More

  • James Baraz

    Changing the Channel: Opening to Goodness

    The barrage of frightening headlines often leaves us with feelings of despair, hopelessness, and negativity. While it’s important to feel connected to the suffering all around us, it is equally important to nourish ourselves by opening to the goodness in life–both inside and around us. Our caring can then be held with more spaciousness and…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christopher Titmuss – Week of 17 November, 2025

    We’re delighted that Christopher Titmuss is guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. We hope you find them enriching for your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Going Beyond the World

    Dharma practitioners tend to spend much time giving attention to practise. This is a worthwhile endeavour but it seems to go on and on until death. We can conclude that practice means improving the quality of our life, reducing suffering in our lives and showing kindness and compassion to others. Yes, this is significant. It is a credit to dedicated practitioners committed to exploration of such experiences as a way of life. This is not the core purpose of the Dharma but an important preparation for Going Beyond the World.
    We have to understand what we mean by the world and going beyond the world.
    In these five sessions, we will explore the core purpose in diverse ways. Talks, guided meditations and Q&A form the backbone of the inquiry. Every session will offer everyday examples of the theme of the session to enable seeing the world and confirming going beyond the world.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Christine Kupfer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christine Kupfer – Week of February 26, 2024

    This week’s topic is “Fear and Fearlessness in the Midst of Uncertainty”. We try to secure our lives by any means necessary. We do our best, we tend to our business, and boom!, a crisis occurs. Whether it’s an ecological, political, pandemic, professional, relational or spiritual crisis…  life does not leave us settled, bringing up a whole procession of fears and worries. So how can we find peace? How can we become fearless? This is the theme we will explore this week on Sangha Live.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Caverly Morgan – Week of April 6

    We’re very grateful to have Caverly Morgan hosting our Daily Meditation Series for North America. To find out more about Caverly, and to view her past recordings and contributions to Sangha Live, click here. Monday, April 6 Becoming the ocean of awareness and acceptance Wednesday, April 8 Resting together in our shared being Tuesday, April…

    Read More

  • Nirmala Werner

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nirmala Werner – Week of Nov 27 – 1 Dec, 2023

    This week’s topic is “Longing for Belonging; Becoming Intimate with Expansion and Contraction”. Although people are more connected than ever through technology, there seems to be a global trance of “not belonging”. In this week’s sessions we will explore how we separate from our own selves and from others, and above all how we can come home to all our parts and sink back into a sense of belonging.

    Read More

  • Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison

    Wake up to your Life: Cultivating Courage & Compassion in the Everyday

    Awakening to Life means harmonizing our values and our actions. Many of us merely go through the motions, sleepwalking through the hours, without actually feeling alive. Cultivating courage and joy entails slowing down, paying close attention, and practicing being fully engaged with what each moment has to offer. Koshin Sensei will share Zen teachings and…

    Read More