Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of 01 September, 2025

    We’re delighted to have Sophie Boyer guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they enrich and support your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Equanimity – What Is Always At Rest

    Sophie Boyer will lead our Daily Mediations this week, inviting us to re-attune to what is always at rest, what never struggles, what never pushes or pulls. Join us to explore the non dual nature of life together.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison

    Wake up to your Life: Cultivating Courage & Compassion in the Everyday

    Awakening to Life means harmonizing our values and our actions. Many of us merely go through the motions, sleepwalking through the hours, without actually feeling alive. Cultivating courage and joy entails slowing down, paying close attention, and practicing being fully engaged with what each moment has to offer. Koshin Sensei will share Zen teachings and…

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Staying In, Going Inwards: Inner Resources for Indoor Life

    Martin, the founding and guiding teacher of Sangha Live, leads our regular Sunday session, looking at skilful ways to meet this time of confinement and ‘forced retreat’. He offers various reflections on caring for ourselves and others, and makes plenty of time to share and explore together as a Sangha, as we lean into this…

    Read More

  • Leslie Booker

    Faith in the Three Jewels

    Booker writes: “Growing up in the Baptist faith, I was taught to believe what I was taught, and to not have my own experience or exploration; to not know for myself. This didn’t sit well with me as a child! During this teaching, I will share my spiritual journey from Bright Faith to Verified Faith….

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    For the love of mindfulness!

    Mindfulness practice has burst out of its Buddhist origins and is hugely impacting the culture at large, particularly in the fields of education, healthcare and business. Some delight in the liberating possibilities of this, and some are concerned about what they see as the ‘dumbing down’ of the practice, or the exclusion of important areas…

    Read More

  • Becoming a Bodhisattva

    This talk will explore the archetype of the Bodhisattva— a being dedicated to waking up and cultivating wisdom and compassion for the sake of all beings. We will first see how it manifests itself in Buddhist history and teachings, and then tackle important questions: How is it relevant to the suffering in our current times?…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christopher Titmuss – Week of 06 January, 2025

    We are grateful to have Christopher Titmuss guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May these sessions support and deepen your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Each Moment, New Moment

    A week of practice to begin the year, with reflections on beginnings, commitments and a free attitude to life.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Mark Coleman Profile Photo

    Discovering the Joy of Sensory Awareness: Mindfulness in Nature

    When we turn our attention to the sensory, natural world around us, mindfulness practice can become easeful and expansive. Nature allures awareness through her beauty, and range of dynamic, enchanting experience. In this session we will practice cultivating attention to our sense experience, and discovering joy, peace and wonder in this very moment. Tune in from any peaceful environment outdoors with an internet connection, or indoors, ideally with a view of the outdoors.

    Read More