Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Daigan Gaither

    Bodhisattva Practice

    Using the hagiography of the Bodhisattvas of Compassion, Wisdom, and Activity, let’s explore how to bring those ideals into our everyday life off the cushion. What can these perfections of compassion, wisdom and activity teach us about our own journey to practice-realization, and liberation.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of July 10, 2023

    This week’s theme is “The Compassionate Heart”. Karuna, usually translated as compassion, is our hearts’ ability to relate with care towards ourselves, others and experience in general. Living in a complex world with imperfect others and self, an attitude and practice of compassion can be an immense support. But when misunderstood, it can equally turn into pity, generate overwhelm, make us lose balance and create friction with the concept of responsibility. We will therefore dedicate this upcoming week to an indepth exploration into the concept of compassion.

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Getting Free: The Infinite Middle of the MiddleWay

    Dharma teachings are sublime, subtle, and onward leading: they are always going deeper and wider than we may first presume. Yet, they also meet us where we are, in the midst of our life. In this session we’ll explore two expressions of the middle-way we can cultivate and develop in our practice and in our…

    Read More

  • Ralph Steele

    Discovering Diamonds in Darkness: Racism & Cultural Diversity

    Racism and cultural identity have indiscriminately been seeded into human consciousness since the beginning of humanity. The health of any community begins with the Sense of Self. This Dharma assembly will focus on our sense of self as we investigate consciousness using the Noble Truths for Awakening. Millions have followed this path of practice for millennia.

    Read More

  • Sensei Koshin Paley Ellison

    Wake up to your Life: Cultivating Courage & Compassion in the Everyday

    Awakening to Life means harmonizing our values and our actions. Many of us merely go through the motions, sleepwalking through the hours, without actually feeling alive. Cultivating courage and joy entails slowing down, paying close attention, and practicing being fully engaged with what each moment has to offer. Koshin Sensei will share Zen teachings and…

    Read More

  • Ronya Banks

    Depth of Spiritual Practice – Even in a Chaotic World

    “Practicing systematically, taking the time to go into deep practice and making it the number one priority, leads to a state where the mind is very still and malleable and can investigate.” – Nikki Mirghafori As the human race’s daily living pace continues to speed up and an increasing sense of insecurity and doubt arise…

    Read More

  • Christine Kupfer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christine Kupfer – Week of February 26, 2024

    This week’s topic is “Fear and Fearlessness in the Midst of Uncertainty”. We try to secure our lives by any means necessary. We do our best, we tend to our business, and boom!, a crisis occurs. Whether it’s an ecological, political, pandemic, professional, relational or spiritual crisis…  life does not leave us settled, bringing up a whole procession of fears and worries. So how can we find peace? How can we become fearless? This is the theme we will explore this week on Sangha Live.

    Read More

  • A Global Crisis. The Wisdom of Action while Living with Uncertainty

    The Mind/Body Crisis provides an opportunity to wake up or live in fear and despair. Are our politicians, billionaires, pharmaceutical industry, food industry, and scientists fit for purpose?Change is required. Inner and Outer. Radical. Unprecedented.Are we fit for purpose?What do we have to offer?

    Read More