Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Leela Sarti – Week of April 26, 2021

    This week’s theme is: Timeless presence in the midst of daily life.

    This week we will invite the possibility of being grounded in the depth of timeless presence in the midst of daily life. We will practice and inquire how to live a full and heartfelt life from silence and emptiness, and yet being yourself in peace with others, and doing what needs to be done.

    Read More

  • Zohar Lavie

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Zohar Lavie – Week of 12 January, 2026

    This week’s theme is: In Service of a Boundless Heart:

    An exploration of the rich breadth of the teachings and their capacity to transform our experience into something beautiful and liberating. As we include more aspects of our lives in our practice and emphasise interconnection, ethics, compassion and wisdom, a precious process unfolds; a process of unbinding the heart and expanding it to be as wide as the world.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Sangha: You Are Not Alone!

    The Buddha’s insight that all things arise dependent on something else points to a universe in ongoing relational flow. When experienced directly, we know this flow to be love. Together we will open to receive the many ways we are touched by life through our connections to each other and the Earth, our ancestors and…

    Read More

  • Miles Kessler

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Miles Kessler – Week of July 25, 2022

    This week’s topic is “The 4 Noble Practices”. The 4 noble practices are practical instructions given by the Buddha in relation to the 4 noble truths. Namely, 1) The Noble Practice Of Acceptance, 2) The Noble Practice Of Letting Go, 3) The Noble Practice Of Realization, and 4) The Noble Practice Of Development. This week, Miles will lead you through these 4 noble practices, helping you to see how these 4 injunctions from the Buddha contain the entirety of the practical Dharma.

    Read More

  • Ralph Steele

    The Elephant’s Footprint

    Looking at The Four Noble Truths as the way to give us guidance in our world and how to work with racial separation in our Global Dharma sanghas. Is having teachers of Color and Dharma community racial sensitivity training the right way or wrong way and is that enough?

    Read More

  • The Beauty of Impermanence, a Doorway to Freedom

    “If we were never to fade away…how things would lose their power to move us. Because we will fade away, we are moved, because we are moved, we realise more deeply that we will fade away.”– Keith Dowman If I had to sum up Buddhism in one word, it might be impermanence. Often, it’s impermanence…

    Read More