Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of 02 December, 2024

    We are grateful to have Ulla Koenig leading our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May these sessions support and deepen your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Soothing the Grieving Heart

    As human beings we have the privilege to consciously experience many beautiful and joyful things. And we are constantly in touch with the changeability of nature, relationships, our body, hearts, self and much more. Without knowing how to accommodate the naturally arising sadness, change and loss can be easily overwhelming. We will dedicate this week in the darkest time of the year, to open up a compassionate space to explore skillful grieving.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Cultivating Wise Energy

    Everything we do in life depends on energy, but the modern world has a destructive and exploitative relationship with energy. What is wise, balanced energy in spiritual practice? How can we establish this in the face of societal pressure and norms, and how can it be a resource in our daily life?

    Read More

  • Zohar Lavie

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Zohar Lavie – Week of July 17, 2023

    This week’s topic is “Deepening and Developing Unconditional Friendliness”. Metta, translated as unconditional friendliness, is a powerful and transformative attitude. When we relate to ourselves, others and experience with metta, reactivity and ill being dissolve and wisdom and wellbeing grow. During this week of practice we will deepen the practice and application of metta, as well as the understanding of how it impacts experience.

    Read More

  • Deborah Eden Tull - Senior Dharma Teacher

    You are Not Alone: Healing the Myth of Separation

    The dharma invites us to face ourselves fully. But through fear, we sometimes distract ourselves, over-fill ourselves, and hold onto external attachments, in order to avoid.…what? The illusion that we are separate and isolated manifests in ways conscious and unconscious, but over time practice reveals to us that it is simply the ego that fears…

    Read More

  • Wiebke Pausch

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Wiebke Pausch – Week of October 31, 2022

    This week’s topic is “Awaken Self-Compassion”. For many of us it is easier to be friendly and compassionate with others than with ourselves. Old conditioning, limiting beliefs of not being worthy of love and are confining our hearts. Compassion is an essential part of our true nature. We all know how to be gentle and compassionate with ourselves – this is how we survived situations of suffering and loss in our lives. This week we will be exploring how to awaken Self-Compassion, allowing our hearts to soften and open with care. With a tender heart we begin naturally to respond to the world around us with clarity and compassion.

    Read More

  • Refuge: The Heart’s Own Knowing

    It’s important to recognize that we are living in extremely challenging times, and because of this, we are going to experience some very painful and disturbing bodily feelings, emotions, and mind states. As profound uncertainty deepens and intensifies within and all around, our Dharma practice becomes ever more vital. The ground and heart of this…

    Read More

  • Meditating and speaking: simultaneously practicing Sila, Samadhi and Panna

    The communicative loop of listening and speaking forms a powerful karmic workshop. Language taps into our karmic archive, sankhara. It reaches other people and, if they are listening, there is mind-to-mind contact. Relational contact is intrinsically powerful because humans are intrinsically relational: when we engage together, our mutual responsiveness amplifies our efforts. Speaking and listening…

    Read More

  • Being a Bodhisattva

    What is this incredible archetype? How does it show up in Buddhist history and teachings? How is it relevant to our current times? This talk will explore the idea of beings who commit to waking up in order to respond to the suffering of the world. And might we be one? Or want to?

    Read More