Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Christine Kupfer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christine Kupfer – Week of April 10, 2022

    This week’s topic is “Body like a temple”. We often refer to the body as if it were a functional tool. We talk about my body, as if it were supposed to be at our service. Sometimes all it takes is one breath for everything to change, and in a dazzle, we experience body as a temple, a sanctuary for life. What is a temple? It is a sacred place, a place whose spiritual reality goes beyond the physical plane. In our daily meditations this week, we will bow to the miracle of the body that we are, honoring the presence of life unfolding in all its realities.

    Read More

  • Brian Dean Williams

    S.A.L.S.A.: Using Buddhist practice to Respond to “Spicy” Emotions

    Life presents plenty of opportunities to react unconsciously, often creating harm for ourselves and others. How might we apply our Buddhist practice to “Spicy” situations and emotions, in order to respond wisely? In this session, Brian will draw on Stephen Batchelor’s work and propose a working acronym of “S.A.L.S.A.” to navigate life’s spiciness and act…

    Read More

  • The Happiness of Emptiness

    Exploration of ultimate teachings requires listening, reflection/meditation rather than sitting to wait for an experience. Emptiness does not require experiences. The ultimate reveals the emptiness of self, ego, I and my – including self interest, self help and self compassion. This session will explore the contractions forming self and the way our minds have become…

    Read More

  • Deborah Eden Tull - Senior Dharma Teacher

    Luminous Darkness: A Path for Seeing Clearly from the Heart

    One of the gifts of global uncertainty is that it requires us to recognize and release unconscious biases that have been passed down for generations. These include the perception that splits into opposites and values light over dark, speed over slowing down, productivity over attunement, and conclusion over not knowing. Awakening requires that we soften…

    Read More

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of 30 March, 2026

    This week’s theme is: Allowance and Confidence

    The month of April will be dedicated to the exploration of “trusting the path”. Sophie Boyer will lead our Daily Meditations this week, inviting us to re-attune to presence. The more we allow life to lead, the more trust and confidence can expand. Join us to explore the here and now together.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Willa Blythe Baker

    Belonging: The Dharma as a Journey to Connectedness

    Behavioral scientists have long known that human beings are wired for connection. But recent studies show that in the wake of the social isolation imposed by the Covid crisis, the world is experiencing a spike in loneliness. In such times of isolation — physical or felt — how can meditation help? What do the Buddha’s…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of January 17, 2022

    This week’s theme is: Embracing Anger.

    How do you deal with your feelings of anger?

    Is it okay to be angry at times or do we need to get rid of it once and for all?

    Meeting our anger can be a challenge, as it comes with a driving energy and tends to evoke reactions of blame, fear or delight within us. The Buddha encouraged us to familiarize ourselves with all expressions of the heart-mind but equally warned about the destructive forces of ill-will. Let us look deeply into the nature of anger and learn ways to channel it in skilful and liberating ways.

    Read More