Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Justine Dawson

    The Appropriate Response

    When a monk asked the 10th Century Zen master Yunmen, “What are the teachings of a whole lifetime?” Yunmen replied, “An appropriate response.”  What is this appropriate response and how do we know we’ve got it right? Beyond linear formulas, Dharma teachings point to a natural intelligence that guides us in a spontaneous responsiveness to life….

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of 16 June, 2025

    We’re grateful to have Nathan Glyde leading our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they support and enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Stillness Dancing

    Meditation cultivates vibrant tranquillity, not frozen silence. Like a stirred pond settling into clarity, we release agitation. Like an owl gliding soundlessly at dusk, we quiet ourselves – not to mute, but to listen deeply. In flowing stillness, we find wisdom and care, opening to a practice that is wholesome and inclusive.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Stephen Fulder

    Including Diversity and Differences in the Space of Awareness

    Diversity is a challenging concept today. Yet our equanimity is developed through meeting the great range of our inner experiences, as well as staying steady in the cacophony of the marketplace. There is enough space in our hearts to welcome the wonderful richness and diversity of life and of each other. Our open awareness makes…

    Read More

  • Being a Bodhisattva

    What is this incredible archetype? How does it show up in Buddhist history and teachings? How is it relevant to our current times? This talk will explore the idea of beings who commit to waking up in order to respond to the suffering of the world. And might we be one? Or want to?

    Read More

  • Brian Dean Williams

    Change the story, change your life

    We live our lives through stories – about the world, and about ourselves. You may have noticed these stories surfacing in awareness in your meditation practice. We often cling to these stories as being “true”, yet holding this wrong view conceals that these stories are impermanent, cause suffering, and ultimately, are not personal. In this…

    Read More

  • Ronya Banks

    Restorative Stillness Even During Turbulent Times

    “Enter into the stillness inside your busy life. Become familiar with her ways. Grow to love her, feel [her] with all your heart and you will come to hear her silent music and become one with Love’s silent song.” ~Noel Davis You can tap into inner stillness and tranquility regularly during your days, even during…

    Read More

  • James Baraz

    Attitude to practice.

    Worldwide Insight talk from James Baraz: “Attitude to Practice”. Guided meditation, Dharma talk and Q&A.

    Read More

  • Wiebke Pausch

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Wiebke Pausch – Week of November 20, 2023

    This week’s topic is “May I be kind to myself”. May I be kind to myself – coming home to kindness and giving ourselves the love and care we need and deserve. What helps us to nurture this love – especially in the most challenging moments? We will explore how we can move towards more tenderness and open heartedness for ourselves and others.

    Read More