Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Milla Gregor – Week of June 20, 2022

    This week’s topic is Skills for Inner and Outer Transformation. Dharma practice gives us great tools for inner and interpersonal change. It’s empowering to explore how these can also be useful for social and environmental transformation. We will tour such qualities, including equanimity (upekkha), non-self (anatta), and sukha (yes, pleasure!). Together, we will draw on both traditional and more contemporary voices to show how your skills as a practitioner could be vital to the work of changing the world.

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Getting Free: The Infinite Middle of the MiddleWay

    Dharma teachings are sublime, subtle, and onward leading: they are always going deeper and wider than we may first presume. Yet, they also meet us where we are, in the midst of our life. In this session we’ll explore two expressions of the middle-way we can cultivate and develop in our practice and in our…

    Read More

  • The practice of love in times of hate

    The Buddha taught hate cannot be conquered by hate, but only by love; that this is the eternal law. What does this mean in our lives, and in the contentious and divisive times we live in?

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    On Teachings and Teachers

    People often ask about the importance (or not) of working closely with a teacher. One can benefit greatly from general meditation instruction, but personalised guidance from someone who knows you and your practice well can be deeply helpful. In this session, Martin speaks about approaching teachers for guidance and about the dynamics of the teacher-student…

    Read More

  • Dave Smith

    Mindfulness and the Four Noble Truths

    Across all Buddhist lineages and traditions, the four noble truths hold the utmost importance. They are the Dharma’s most fundamental teaching. In modern society, the focus of Buddhism often shifts to meditation, particularly mindfulness, as the practice continues to be integrated into contemporary culture. How can we bring the teachings of the four noble truths…

    Read More

  • Stephen Fulder

    The Dharma on the front lines: how to work with conflict.

    Peace sometimes feels impossible to find. It is there for a while then something happens and conflict or friction returns. It may be conflict with ourselves, in relationships to people close to us, at our work place, or between social groups. Often we can feel despaired that despite much dharma practice and meditation, conflict keeps…

    Read More