Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Shaila Catherine

    Becoming Content with Emptiness and Voidness

    Shaila Catherine asks “Will nothing be enough?” as she explores how identification with our experience can create discontent with the basic fact that matter and mind is empty of self. Mindfulness will not demolish ego; instead, we mindfully recognize…

    Read More

  • Vimalasara Mason-John

    When did you stop breathing?

    We could say that the Buddha was teaching us to breath again. It’s said that the prince Siddhartha was sitting under a Bodhi tree, practicing the anapanasati (the mindfulness of breathing) when he gained enlightenment and became awake, a Buddha. He was aware of the whole experience of breathing. Through breathing he trained the mind…

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of 16 June, 2025

    We’re grateful to have Nathan Glyde leading our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they support and enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Stillness Dancing

    Meditation cultivates vibrant tranquillity, not frozen silence. Like a stirred pond settling into clarity, we release agitation. Like an owl gliding soundlessly at dusk, we quiet ourselves – not to mute, but to listen deeply. In flowing stillness, we find wisdom and care, opening to a practice that is wholesome and inclusive.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Jill Satterfield

    The Procurement of Kindness and Sanity

    Jill writes: “We all possess the capacity to be very aware of our internal landscapes of body, heart and mind. And fortunately, with practice, we can tend to what we see, feel and know as it all arises in the moment, rather than days, months or decades later. It sure saves a lot of pain…

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Martin Aylward – Week of 8 July, 2024

    This week’s topic is “Love and Letting Go: Meeting Life Spaciously and Graciously”. Join us for a series of Daily Meditations where we’ll discover how to meet life with openness and grace. Together, we will explore the profound dance between love and letting go, and cultivate a spacious presence that embraces our experiences with tenderness and wisdom.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christopher Titmuss – Week of June 22

    We’re fortunate that Christopher Titmuss has generously offered to lead our daily meditation sessions for Europe and the UK this week. To find out more about Christopher, and view his other recordings on the platform, click here. Monday, June 22 The power of listening Wednesday, June 24 Love Friday, June 26 Choices and decisions Tuesday,…

    Read More

  • The freeing of human consciousness: from seeing the world ‘out there’, separate and alien, to directly knowing, feeling, and living the intimacy of all things

    The Shurangama Sutra, which points out the foundations of Zen practice, discusses the essential nature of mind as the “primal essence of consciousness that brings forth all conditions.” Implied is the heart-mind (citta) both profoundly intimate with all things while at the same time free and independent of all things. How is it to live…

    Read More

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of Mar 11, 2024

    This week’s topic is “To Be on the Road Without Leaving Home”. Zen Master Hakuin reveals an apparent tension between movement and stillness in this statement. What may the road refer to? What is called home? Sophie Boyer will lead our Daily Meditations this week, inviting us to engage with this paradoxical dynamic. We’ll discover that stability and ground can become more spacious in every situation, every experience, and every condition. How it is possible to discover, or re-discover, home … endlessly.

    Read More