Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Practice as a Way of Remembrance

    Many are referring to this time as apocalyptic. Fair enough. It can seem as though everywhere we turn a dismantling of some sort is in the works. While we might intellectually feel able to embrace the change upon us, for many it can be easy to fall into overwhelm, hopelessness, even despair. What do the…

    Read More

  • Two Wings to Fly – Cultivating Both Wisdom and Compassion

    In traditional Theravada Buddhism it’s said that for one to truly experience freedom one needs to engage in the practices of both wisdom and compassion. Like a bird that needs two wings to fly, wisdom and compassion are two necessary parts on the path to a well-rounded enlightenment. At first glance, practices that cultivate loving-kindness…

    Read More

  • Dave Smith

    Genuine Happiness: An Alternative Perspective

    So much of what we hear and learn about within Dharma practice places an arguably unnecessary emphasis on suffering (dukkha). While the acceptance of suffering (dukkha) is an important and essential aspect of the path, it is by no means the end of the story. In one of the Buddha’s oldest descriptions of what it…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Jaya Rudgard – Week of Jan 31, 2022

    Embodied and Awake: Meditations for Body, Heart and Mind.

    Mind, body and emotion form a constant feedback loop. As the traditional teachings on mindfulness make clear, all three equally deserve our interested, caring attention. When mindfulness is balanced in this way our whole being benefits. Our practice this week will include some gentle movements and mindful breathing practices as a prelude to each day’s meditation. These can be done seated or standing, or adapted for lying down, according to your ability and levels of energy.

    Each morning this week we’ll dive into one of the images from the natural world and daily life that the Buddha used to explain his teachings. Let’s see how how these similes and metaphors from the Buddhist texts can support our understanding and enrich our practice. We may also discover how practising with them can enhance our appreciation of the world around us.

    Read More

  • Justine Dawson

    The Appropriate Response

    When a monk asked the 10th Century Zen master Yunmen, “What are the teachings of a whole lifetime?” Yunmen replied, “An appropriate response.”  What is this appropriate response and how do we know we’ve got it right? Beyond linear formulas, Dharma teachings point to a natural intelligence that guides us in a spontaneous responsiveness to life….

    Read More

  • Zohar Lavie

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Zohar Lavie – Week of 01 June, 2026

    This week’s theme is: Joy in Practice; gladdening the heart in service of awakening

    Joy, gladness and delight are important factors on the path. They arise as fruits of the practice, but they are also skills that can be cultivated and developed. This week, we will reveal, align with and nourish these liberating qualities. Tasting for ourselves their impact on experience, in service to the wellbeing of all beings.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More