Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Shaila Catherine

    How Conduct Bears Fruit: Training in Not-Killing

    In this session Shaila Catherine explores the fruits of karma and the consequences of action through a detailed consideration of why and how we practice ethical precepts. The focus for this talk is the commitment to not kill.

    Read More

  • Clarity, Presence and Love: Both on and off the Cushion

    How to meet the world’s joys and crises, alongside our deepening practice? Learn from the examples of Buddhist teachers and activists who engage with the world and create change from the presence, clarity and love of a dedicated dharma practice. Portraits of people and organisations:Dr A. T. Ariyaratne (1931 – 2024) and the Sarvodaya movementJoe…

    Read More

  • Refuge: The Heart’s Own Knowing

    It’s important to recognize that we are living in extremely challenging times, and because of this, we are going to experience some very painful and disturbing bodily feelings, emotions, and mind states. As profound uncertainty deepens and intensifies within and all around, our Dharma practice becomes ever more vital. The ground and heart of this…

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Martin Aylward – Week of 8 July, 2024

    This week’s topic is “Love and Letting Go: Meeting Life Spaciously and Graciously”. Join us for a series of Daily Meditations where we’ll discover how to meet life with openness and grace. Together, we will explore the profound dance between love and letting go, and cultivate a spacious presence that embraces our experiences with tenderness and wisdom.

    Read More

  • Shaila Catherine

    Appreciation and joy

    We can cultivate the attitude of appreciation and allow it to enhance and strengthen our mindfulness practice. Shaila Catherine speaks about the powerful impact that joy and appreciation can have on the quality of our minds, and the development of our spiritual path.

    Read More

  • Kaira Jewel Lingo

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Kaira Jewel Lingo – Week of May 4

    We’re very grateful to have Caverly Morgan hosting our Daily Meditation Series for North America. To find out more about Caverly, and to view her past recordings and contributions to Sangha Live, click here. Monday, May 4 Releasing ownership, releasing suffering Wednesday, May 6 Seeing through the veil of the conditioned mind Friday, May 8…

    Read More

  • Nirmala Werner

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nirmala Werner – Week of 22 September, 2025

    We’re grateful to have Nirmala Werner guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they support and deepen your practice.

    This week’s theme is: The Still Heart: Cultivating Equanimity in an Unsteady World

    In a world marked by constant change, uncertainty, and emotional intensity, equanimity can seem like a distant ideal-or even a form of indifference. But in the Buddhist tradition, equanimity (upekkhā) is not cold or passive. It is the spacious, steady heart that knows how to stay open, grounded, and present with whatever life brings.

    In this week we will explore equanimity as a deep source of inner freedom-neither detached nor reactive, but wise, loving, and awake.

    Through daily reflection and embodied practice, we will ask:

    What is true equanimity, and what is it not?

    How can we meet change without losing our ground?

    How do we love and let go-at the same time?

    And how can we live with a still heart in a restless world?

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Responding to a World in Crisis with a Strong Heart

    How do we keep the heart open and strong amidst so much pain and suffering in our world? What does our contemplative practice have to offer in times of upheaval and change? Join author and Dharma teacher Oren Jay Sofer for this session focused on building inner resources to heal our hearts and respond effectively…

    Read More