Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Zohar Lavie

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Zohar Lavie – Week of 31 March, 2025

    We’re delighted that Zohar Lavie will be leading our Daily Meditation sessions this week. We hope they bring depth and joy to your practice.

    This week’s theme is: A Compassionate Response

    As sensitive beings, we are impacted by the conditions of our lives. Having a body, heart and mind means meeting painful and challenging circumstances, whether in our immediate environment or in the world. During this week we will explore possibilities of responding with and through compassion to whatever is arising in our lives. Attuning as we do so to further wellbeing for all beings.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of 18 May, 2026

    This week’s theme is: The Unfolding of Presence

    This week, Sophie Boyer invites us back to the heart of daily meditation: just practice. It’s a practice where no effort is needed to be present, for presence is already here. Let us simply return to it.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Five tenets of a whole life path

    Many long for a way to “integrate” their Buddhist practice with what is often called “the rest of my life.” This often fails. Doesn’t integration refer to separate things that must be brought together? In this talk, Gregory offers what he calls the Five Tenets of a Whole Life Path, a practical, yet demanding, way…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Jaya Rudgard – Week of 07 April, 2025

    We are delighted to have Jaya Rudgard leading our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they bring nourishment to your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Dharma Here and Now: The Art of Being Present

    As meditators we aspire to being awake to life. We know that this life with its gifts, challenges and opportunities, only ever happens NOW, yet this NOW often eludes us. This week we’ll investigate what helps and hinders our fully inhabiting the moments of our day, and what possibilities might emerge when we do so.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • James Baraz

    Gladness of the Wholesome: The Buddha’s Teaching on Awakening Joy

    The Buddha was known as The Happy One. Though Joy is one of the Seven Factors of Awakening, with so much emphasis on working with suffering, joy can sometimes seem frivolous or unspiritual. His teaching on attending to the ‘Gladness Connected with the Wholesome’ is a key aspect of Wise Effort and developing a loving heart. We will practice and explore together this foundation for awakening joy.

    Read More

  • Sitting with Pointlessness – Living with Potentiality

    During a recent retreat, the teachers’ instruction was to hold the question ‘What is this?’ in mind. While sitting on the cushion, the thought struck me that my life is futile! I am genetically programmed for survival and sex; everything else is just distracting window-dressing. This talk will explore the journey from the apparent ‘futility’…

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of 02 March, 2026

    This week’s theme is: Release The Pressure

    We often feel pressured to become better-pushed to chase the impossible or to be someone always just out of reach. This same strain can seep into our practice. Yet the Middle Way invites us to soften that drive, releasing unnecessary pressure here and now, and uncovering the steadfast flexibility of wise compassion.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More