Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Pamela Weiss

    Faith: Cultivating an Undivided Life

    The divisiveness we see around us begins in the binary mind: self and other, me and you, us and them. In each moment, we like and don’t like, pick and choose, evaluate and judge. How can we untangle this tangle? This talk will explore how practice helps liberate us from our views and opinions, and…

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    As wide as life and as open as space: practicing inclusivity.

    As we get familiar with the practice of meditation and the language of Dharma teachings, we can find ourselves getting comfortable, even complacent. Yet our practice in many ways is designed to make us uncomfortable! Designed to keep us open to ambiguity and uncertainty, to invite us to question and explore rather than to settle…

    Read More

  • Ayya Santussika

    Relief – In This Very Moment, In This Very Breath

    Practicing mindfulness together with the four Divine Abidings (loving kindness, compassion, joy and equanimity), we develop our ability to bring relief to even the most challenging moments of our lives. We begin by strengthening our habit to increase our mindfulness as stress increases and then apply the Divine Abiding that is most appropriate for a…

    Read More

  • Nirmala Werner

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nirmala Werner – Week of Nov 27 – 1 Dec, 2023

    This week’s topic is “Longing for Belonging; Becoming Intimate with Expansion and Contraction”. Although people are more connected than ever through technology, there seems to be a global trance of “not belonging”. In this week’s sessions we will explore how we separate from our own selves and from others, and above all how we can come home to all our parts and sink back into a sense of belonging.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Leela Sarti – Week of 08 December, 2025

    This week’s theme is: Heart Ground

    Can we awaken an awareness that does not contract in contact with experience? Stabilized embodied awareness, heart presence, invites us to a territory that is often underappreciated: sacred neutrality. The ground of the heart.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Beyond the Self-Improvement Project

    It’s common to come to the spiritual path seeking relief from psychological suffering or emotional pain. The modern wellness industry presents mindfulness and meditation as the ultimate antidote to stress and personal foibles. Yet the Buddhist path is about something far deeper than stress reduction or having an agreeable personality. In this session, we’ll explore…

    Read More