Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Nirmala Werner

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nirmala Werner – Week of March 20 – 24, 2023

    This week’s topic is “The Art of Embodied Listening”. This week is an invitation to explore the skill of true, deep and embodied listening. Living in a culture where people are mainly self-focused, wanting to express themselves, we can look into our capacity to listen. Rather than talking to ourselves we can learn listening with our whole body to others, ourselves and to silence in which all phenomena arises. Creating space to express, really tuning into “what’s going on here?“ enables our stress, worries, fear and insecurities to be unveiled and liberated and is a powerful tool for cultivating insights.

    Read More

  • Sitting with Pointlessness – Living with Potentiality

    During a recent retreat, the teachers’ instruction was to hold the question ‘What is this?’ in mind. While sitting on the cushion, the thought struck me that my life is futile! I am genetically programmed for survival and sex; everything else is just distracting window-dressing. This talk will explore the journey from the apparent ‘futility’…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christopher Titmuss – Week of 17 February, 2025

    We’re delighted to have Christopher Titmuss guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they support and deepen your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Deep Psychology Of Karma

    Join us as we explore the Buddha’s profound teachings on karma (kamma in Pali), a central aspect of Buddhist teaching that’s often misunderstood or overlooked. Christopher will guide us in examining karma not through abstract theory, but through our own direct experience and practice.

    Together, we’ll investigate the intimate connection between our intentions, actions, and their results – both in meditation and daily life. We’ll look deeply into what creates binding patterns of karma, both wholesome and unwholesome, and discover what actions can free us from these patterns altogether.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Nirmala Werner

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nirmala Werner – Week of 23 February, 2026

    This week’s theme is: The Fire of Desire and the Path of Release

    Strong desire moves us-towards love, security, meaning, awakening. Our longings promise fulfillment and yet generate restlessness. This week we’ll explore how craving solidifies identity and how clinging feeds suffering. By understanding the dynamics of attachment, we cultivate the courage to release. Where grasping softens, life renews itself from within.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • James Baraz

    Changing the Channel: Opening to Goodness

    The barrage of frightening headlines often leaves us with feelings of despair, hopelessness, and negativity. While it’s important to feel connected to the suffering all around us, it is equally important to nourish ourselves by opening to the goodness in life–both inside and around us. Our caring can then be held with more spaciousness and…

    Read More

  • Leslie Booker

    Practicing Belonging in a Divisive World

    The precepts are often shared on the first night of retreat to kind of go into a social contract of how we’re going to care for one another on retreat, while holding the nobility of silence. And out in the world, without the protection of silence and this commitment, we often forget how deeply we…

    Read More

  • Eugene Cash

    The Paradox of Being: Alive & Aware

    “The World is its Own Magic” – Suzuki Roshi As we practice and our understanding deepens, we’re often surprised by paradox. We begin to discover what the Laṅkāvatāra Sutra pointed to: Things are not what they seem… Nor are they otherwise. We intuitively know that there is more to life/reality then the usual, the familiar…

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of 03 March, 2025

    We’re delighted to have Nathan Glyde guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they support and enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: It’s Like This, Right Now

    Acceptance must be applied wisely to lead to liberating awakening. We accept “it’s like this, right now”, but we don’t stop there. We also acknowledge that “this” is subject to changeable conditions, and we accept the opportunity to contribute to freedom.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More