Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Is there compassion for the self? Go deep. Is compassion the end of self?

    The Dharma flies with two wings – compassion and wisdom. Compassion emerges from a liberated wisdom. That happens when constructs in the mind lose their significance. The emptiness of self and the emptiness of dependency on feeling tones take priority. This talk also explores the contraction of compassion into self interest. The liberation of compassion…

    Read More

  • Stephen Fulder

    How To Thrive in Hard Times

    When external circumstances are difficult and challenging we tend to get swept away by them. But instead, they can be a wake-up call. We turn to the dharma to help us meet the challenges from an enduring sense of freedom, a more transcendent point of view and skilful, heartful ways to act.

    Read More

  • Beyond Mindfulness: The Fullness of Insight Meditation

    Mindfulness is the engine of meditation practice, and it tends to get all the press. But is mindfulness sufficient to transform our hearts, minds and lives? In this session, we’ll explore some of the other qualities and cultivations that are essential to deep on the spiritual path.

    Read More

  • Lisa Ernst

    The Gap and The Second Noble Truth

    There’s a moment before craving takes hold – a gap. In that space, we gradually cultivate choice in how to respond. This talk explores the Second Noble Truth: how reaching and pushing away pulls us from the present, and how the practice of recognizing the gap – whether a split second or something larger –…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ayala Gill – Week of 10 November, 2025

    We are delighted to have Ayala Gill guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May these sessions support and enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Three Jewels: Love, Truth, Belonging

    We will explore the “Three Jewels” of Buddha, Dharma and Sangha through the immediate, embodied experience of love. By diving into the felt sense of this moment, we discover the precious refuge of love, truth and belonging.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of March 22, 2021

    This week’s theme is: Resolve to Unbind the Heart

    The word resolve can embody many meanings. This week we will see how much it offers on a Dharma path of awakening. It is made of re & solve: ‘re’ as in ‘really’, fully, with intensity; ’solve’ as in loosen, undo, or dissolve. Such a poetic and insightful combination: to intensely loosen.

    The Buddha offered teachings and practices for a path of unbinding. A path of resolve to resolve, of dedication to undoing. For dukkha is a state of high activity and reactivity: a doing of distress. Meditations are practices of skilful and subtle activity that unbuild problematic senses of self and loosen missions of reactivity. An invitation to wake up to life, in life, for life, and there in the midst of it all to resolve: to fully unbind.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Milla Gregor – Week of April 22, 2024

    This week’s theme is “Breath, Body, Connection and Reflection”. Breath, body and connection are areas of practice that come up again and again in Buddhist teaching. We’ll explore them in different combinations, and reflect on how they can support your meditation practice and your wider life, with all their opportunities for relationship, engagement and embodied presence.

    Read More

  • Responding to a World in Crisis with a Strong Heart

    How do we keep the heart open and strong amidst so much pain and suffering in our world? What does our contemplative practice have to offer in times of upheaval and change? Join author and Dharma teacher Oren Jay Sofer for this session focused on building inner resources to heal our hearts and respond effectively…

    Read More