Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Love and Dust: Opening your Heart Wide to a Dying World

    With the fragile condition of our eco-system finally breaking through into the mainstream news cycle, we can easily be overwhelmed by the loss of biodiversity and permafrost, the pollution of earth, air and oceans, and the attendant insecurity and danger to life on earth. We might struggle both with the information itself – the amount,…

    Read More

  • What does Liberation Mean?

    Buddha-Dharma teachings offer unparalleled insight into Truth, both ultimate and relative. Yet many practitioners fall into the belief that regular meditation alone will lead to breakthrough experiences and liberation-reinforced by the image of Buddha sitting under the Bodhi Tree.True liberation requires more than mindfulness practice. It transforms our entire conditioning: our ethics, how we view…

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Staying In, Going Inwards: Inner Resources for Indoor Life

    Martin, the founding and guiding teacher of Sangha Live, leads our regular Sunday session, looking at skilful ways to meet this time of confinement and ‘forced retreat’. He offers various reflections on caring for ourselves and others, and makes plenty of time to share and explore together as a Sangha, as we lean into this…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Milla Gregor – Week of September 4, 2023

    This week’s theme is “Which comes first, your practice or your life?” Does your life support your practice, or your practice your life? For me, things have been shifting recently, leaving me with lots to contemplate, particularly around the overlap between practice and systemic change. I’ll share some ideas and embodied relational techniques for working at these interesting edges, whilst giving you lots of open quiet meditation time, over our five mornings together.

    Read More

  • Nina la Rosa

    Sometimes Bodhisattvas need a rest!

    The life of a bodhisattva can be tough. There is immense suffering on our planet at this moment in history. It can be joyful work, but it can also be difficult to live a life aligned with values such as serving others with compassion. How can the wisdom of the dharma help? Join Nina La…

    Read More

  • George Haas

    The meaningful life

    How can we use our meditation practice to repair attachment disturbances caused by our early conditioning, so that we can be completely ourselves in our relationships with others and in our work, as we pursue the path of awakening?

    Read More

  • The Importance of the Uplifting Experience

    The Buddha taught about life’s suffering—known as ‘dukkha’—and how our personal, social and global issues can weigh us down. Yet dukkha does not have the inherent power to stop ‘sukkha,’ or happiness, from breaking through. In this session, we will explore ‘upliftment’, and the joys that keep our spirit alive. Upliftment of the human spirit…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Shireen Jilla – Week of 29 September, 2025

    We’re delighted to have Shireen Jilla guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May her teachings enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Equanimity: Balancing at the Centre of the Seesaw of Life

    Every morning we will explore a different aspect of equanimity, this inner steadiness, and how we nurture it in our practice. What is this felt sense of spacious ease and how is it a wise check to overwhelming compassion? Actively engaging with our experience, how do we deeply let go? And finally, potently, we will explore equanimity as the gift of grace.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More