Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of October 4, 2021

    This week’s theme is: Meeting the Bodily Companion

    Mindfulness of the body is a key aspect of practice. When we’re in contact with our bodies, we root ourselves in the present moment and find refuge from obsessive thinking. These sessions serve a renewal of our relationship with our lifelong companion: the body. Movement, breathing, skilfully applied imagination, etc. will provide creative ways to deepen an embodied way of life. Everybody will be able to join in these gentle but powerful practices. Make sure you have enough space to comfortably stretch your arms to all sides and consider practicing standing or lying down during these sessions, depending on your level of energy.

    Read More

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of 18 November, 2024

    We’re delighted to have Sophie Boyer guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they bring peace and depth to your practice.

    This week’s theme is: The Fruits of Attention

    What difference does a simple reorientation of attention do to this moment? How will it condition what comes next? Every day this week there will be an opportunity for the fruits of attention to be revealed such as care, generosity, and morality. Let’s explore this together.

    Read More

  • Nina la Rosa

    Working with difficult emotions.

    Feelings have the power to motivate one toward wise action when facing a challenge. They can also cause intense suffering, drive and distort behavior, and lead to regret. Being able to work with emotions, both intense and subtle, is a skill that can be developed through mindfulness meditation. We explore the Unified Mindfulness technique of…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of 26 January, 2026

    This week’s theme is: The Tender Edge of Awareness: Befriending the Unwanted Within

    We all encounter emotions we’d rather not admit to ourselves and others. Self-righteousness, rage, ill will, revenge, vanity or greed are just a few of the dynamics the Buddha encouraged us to have a good eye on. In the upcoming week, we will practice how to meet such dynamics with the necessary clarity rather than self-judgement or denial.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Martin Aylward – Week of 16 February, 2026

    This week’s theme is: Going Gently Through the Dark

    A week of practice together, navigating both the darkness of winter and the inner states that can also feel dark, barren, wintry. A week of meditation and of community, of teachings and practice, or reminding ourselves of the preciousness and the possibilities of a flourishing human life.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Jessica Morey

    The seven factors of awakening.

    Jessica discusses the seven factors of awakening (mindfulness, tranquility/relaxation, piti/joy, concentration, investigation, viriya/courageous energy, equanimity) and how to work with them in meditation practice to balance the mind and support insight through specific meditative techniques.

    Read More

  • Zohar Lavie

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Zohar Lavie – Week of March 14, 2022

    This week’s theme is: Gathering in the Goodness. ‘Drop by drop the pot of goodness is filled.’ -Buddha. Gathering in community we become more than the sum of our parts. We are each supported by, and supporting others — meditating alone is far less easy. Just so, in each moment of mindfulness we gather body-heart-mind from distraction into presence and open possibilities for greater and greater well-being; not just for ourselves, but for all beings.

    Read More