Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Jessica Morey

    The seven factors of awakening.

    Jessica discusses the seven factors of awakening (mindfulness, tranquility/relaxation, piti/joy, concentration, investigation, viriya/courageous energy, equanimity) and how to work with them in meditation practice to balance the mind and support insight through specific meditative techniques.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Catherine McGee – Week of April 25, 2022

    This week’s theme is “Exploring and Developing the Power of a Light Touch”. A light touch can allow our practice to unfold more easefully, make the depths of our hearts more available and create a greater agility in our relationships with the world. With our body as the primary ground for our practice we will explore different ways to cultivate this kind of attention, enjoy the fruits of our efforts and attend to what might hinder this natural capacity

    Read More

  • Willa Blythe Baker

    The Wisdom of the Body

    If you seek to deepen in your meditation practice, there is no better friend than the body. Like a venerable teacher, the body has the power to draw you into the present moment, show you how to find stillness and even—if you listen closely—wake you up.

    Read More

  • Christelle Bonneau

    How can I Sink when I am the Ocean?

    In this session we explore more precisely the different individuals we think we are through the days. We will try to recognize them better, with their own feelings, sensations, emotions, thoughts and states of mind. We’ll also try to hear more clearly all the different judgemental voices that take place in us, about the way…

    Read More

  • Developing the Power of Heart and Mind

    Power matters when free from any corruption of mind, gross or subtle. We need to develop our power rather than feel powerless, indecisive or exploitive. Power emerges from unification of our whole being, focussing on a priority and sometimes engaging in a level of boldness. The Buddha referred to four areas to develop inner power…

    Read More

  • Toby Sola

    The Out Breath: Unlocking Concentration

    Shodo Harada Roshi is known as a “teacher of teachers”, with masters from various lineages coming to sit with him in Japan. If you went to Harada’s monastery, the main meditation technique you’d learn involves slowing the out breath to last one minute. This drastically slows down your physiology, which in turn settles the mind.

    Read More