Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Vimalasara Mason-John

    Coming Home To The Body with Breath

    The teachings of the dharma originate from meditation, sitting in zazen, in samadhi. Everything we need to know is in the depths of our being, but we must first come home. One breath at a time, until it is safe for us to turn all feelings back on, and be at home in the body….

    Read More

  • Leslie Booker

    Faith in the Three Jewels

    Booker writes: “Growing up in the Baptist faith, I was taught to believe what I was taught, and to not have my own experience or exploration; to not know for myself. This didn’t sit well with me as a child! During this teaching, I will share my spiritual journey from Bright Faith to Verified Faith….

    Read More

  • Wholehearted living.

    How do we transform habits of dissatisfaction and distraction, and invite real spaciousness and openness in our day-to-day lives? Becoming intimate, moment by moment, with living reality expands our life-perspective and attunes us to what really matters in life. Leela will explore the nature of love and the implications of loving whatever arises.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ayala Gill – Week of 04 November, 2024

    This week’s theme is: Love’s Fullness

    Mindfulness is a practice of remaining present, open and loving to the deepest truth of this moment as it arises and dissolves. It invites us into an intimate, warm and embodied relationship with life, where each moment is sensed, felt and known with love. The four foundations of mindfulness return us to love’s fullness.

    Read More

  • Forgiveness: The Practice of Returning to Love

    A heart rooted in compassion longs to uplift and free all beings. Yet holding such a heart is not always easy. We stumble, we protect, we carry wounds. In our time together, we’ll explore forgiveness as an act of self-compassion-a way to meet our own suffering with kindness, and to restore the dignity that pain…

    Read More

  • Lisa Ernst

    Exploring Karma, Choice and the Mind

    Karma is action in Buddhism, driven by intention. With practice we cultivate the ability to choose our response and our actions, internally and externally. We might think if our intentions are good our actions will follow, but our intentions are often under the influence of strong conditioning that prevents us from living our choices. But…

    Read More

  • Shaila Catherine

    Lovingkindness in the Little Things

    In this session Shaila Catherine explored the practice and purpose of lovingkindness (mettā) meditation. She clarified what mettā is, and what mettā is not. Mettā is more than merely an antidote to apply on occasions when fear and ill will arise. Mettā can become a skillful and liberating way to experience all moments of life.

    Read More

  • Miles Kessler

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Miles Kessler – Week of 20 October, 2025

    This week, we’re delighted to have Miles Kessler guiding our Daily Meditation sessions. May they enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Meditation And The Dark Night Of The Soul

    The “Dark Night Of The Soul” is nothing less than an ego death, and rebirth process that everyone goes through from time to time in life. As it happens, the “Dark Night Of The Soul” is also beautifully “coded” into insight meditation practices through a series of advanced stages know as the “Dukkha Nanas”. The “Dark Night” stages are awaiting everyone who is walking the path of meditative insight.
    In this week of Daily Meditations with Sangha Live, you are invited to join in a teaching of “Meditation And The Dark Night Of The Soul.” Throughout this week, you will explore how the “Dark Night Of The Soul” process unfolds in the stages of insight meditation. And more importantly, how the insights of these stages inform us in our lives.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More