Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • The Thing You Can Count On

    In times like these with so much uncertainty, fear and suffering, how can we keep our center in a world that sometimes seems to be spinning out of control?

    Read More

  • Becoming a Bodhisattva

    This talk will explore the archetype of the Bodhisattva— a being dedicated to waking up and cultivating wisdom and compassion for the sake of all beings. We will first see how it manifests itself in Buddhist history and teachings, and then tackle important questions: How is it relevant to the suffering in our current times?…

    Read More

  • Christine Kupfer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christine Kupfer – Week of 30 June, 2025

    We’re grateful to have Christine Kupfer guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they support and enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Meditating on the Five Elements : A Journey into Interconnectedness

    This week, we explore how the classical elements – earth, water, fire, air and space – invite a meeting between our inner landscape and the living world. Each session offers a meditative gesture of presence, revealing that we are never separate: we are the breath, the body, and earth becoming aware of itself.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Pamela Weiss

    What Does it Mean to be Free?

    Awakening, freedom, liberation … these are the premise and promise of the Buddhist Path. This session will explore the theme of awakening and liberation, and reflect on how practice can support us to find freedom right where we are.

    Read More

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of 18 May, 2026

    This week’s theme is: The Unfolding of Presence

    This week, Sophie Boyer invites us back to the heart of daily meditation: just practice. It’s a practice where no effort is needed to be present, for presence is already here. Let us simply return to it.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Christine Kupfer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christine Kupfer – Week of 15 September, 2025

    We’re delighted to have Christine Kupfer guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May these sessions support and enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Equanimity – A Still Heart Amid the Waves

    A living balance of the heart welcomes both joy and storm. This week, from the ground of presence we open to the full tapestry of experience. Through meditation, reflection, and silence, we return to the quiet heart, where openness and steadiness meet, tasting freedom that is deeper than reactivity.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Leela Sarti – Week of 16 March, 2026

    This week’s theme is: The Mystery of Being

    We often live entangled in memories, stories, and fixed images of ourselves and the world. We’re running behind, trying to catch up. We’re reacting rather than responding to life. Surely there is more to this earthly journey?
    The practice of sacred attention, of embodied awareness and presence, leads us to the mysterious ground of our nature.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More