Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Milla Gregor – Week of 11 November, 2024

    This week’s theme is: Warm Solitude, Beautiful Nature

    There are many ways to be solitary, whether alone or in company. How might we cultivate a warm, friendly solitude? Nature is beautiful, both ‘out there’ and ‘in here’. How might we appreciate and support nature’s beauty? This week we’ll explore these questions together through practice, reflection and experiment.

    Read More

  • How to Find Balance in Difficult Times

    Equanimity is balance that comes from wisdom; it’s our heart and mind’s capacity to roll with the inevitable challenges and changes of life without taking it personally, without falling into despair or hopeless. Rather than a bland state of neutrality, or a cold state of indifference, equanimity gives us a wide space to feel the…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of October 4, 2021

    This week’s theme is: Meeting the Bodily Companion

    Mindfulness of the body is a key aspect of practice. When we’re in contact with our bodies, we root ourselves in the present moment and find refuge from obsessive thinking. These sessions serve a renewal of our relationship with our lifelong companion: the body. Movement, breathing, skilfully applied imagination, etc. will provide creative ways to deepen an embodied way of life. Everybody will be able to join in these gentle but powerful practices. Make sure you have enough space to comfortably stretch your arms to all sides and consider practicing standing or lying down during these sessions, depending on your level of energy.

    Read More

  • Mindful Intentions: From Pressure to Growth

    What effect does it have if we practice mindfulness and meditation motivated by the fundamental assumption that there is something wrong with us? Perspectives such as ‘not being good enough’ or being ‘damaged goods’ can turn our practice into a painstaking attempt to improve ourselves. During this session we will inquire into our motivations for…

    Read More

  • Paul Burrows

    Death and the dance of self.

    The Buddhadharma is bursting with ways to find helpful perspectives on our troubles. With awareness and investigation we can unpack the nub of clinging which keeps us bound to old and unhelpful ways of seeing ourselves and the world. As we learn to work with self-centred clinging, we make ourselves available to a liberated perspective…

    Read More

  • Bart van Melik

    Trusting Impermanence

    ‘All things fall apart’ was the Buddha’s last teaching before passing away. How can we live peacefully with this universal and challenging truth? In this session, we’ll practice how attuning to change supports letting go.

    Read More

  • Alexis Santos

    Natural awareness: practicing in daily life.

    Meditation is often viewed as something restricted to a certain posture or time of day. For most of us, the majority of our life will not be on retreat or even spent in a formal sitting posture. If we want to make best use of our daily life, it’s important to know that being aware…

    Read More

  • Zohar Lavie

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Zohar Lavie – Week of February 7, 2022

    This week’s theme is: Finding Happiness and Wellbeing on the Path

    The understanding of how dukkha is conditioned and constructed lies at the heart of Dharma teachings. Dukkha and wellbeing are in relationship with each other; the abandonment of the causes of dukkha leads to wellbeing. The nourishment of the causes for wellbeing decreases dukkha. During this week we will explore our capacity to uncover and develop wellbeing through our practice, in ways that enrich our lives.

    Read More