Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Nathan Glyde

    Getting Free: The Infinite Middle of the MiddleWay

    Dharma teachings are sublime, subtle, and onward leading: they are always going deeper and wider than we may first presume. Yet, they also meet us where we are, in the midst of our life. In this session we’ll explore two expressions of the middle-way we can cultivate and develop in our practice and in our…

    Read More

  • Ronya Banks

    Inner Peace in a Chaotic World

    In this session Ronya leads us on a journey of exploring the Buddhist principles and practices specifically designed to promote “inner peace” – even amidst a chaotic world. “Everybody wants a happy life. This goal is entirely dependent on our inner peace… We are trying to seek a joyful, happy life from the outside —…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of September 18, 2023

    This week’s theme is “Understanding Suffering”. Dukkha, often translated as suffering, is a central concept in the Buddha’s teachings. This has led some to view Buddhism as adopting a negative outlook on life. But is this true? Why did the Buddha emphasise suffering (dukkha) and what does he mean by this concept? This week of practice we will take an in-depth look into the first noble truth around dukkha. This exploration can help us cultivate compassion, as well as extending it to the larger community. It can free us from feelings of shame and a sense of failure, and bring a fresh perspective on our practice.

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Martin Aylward – Week of April 6

    We’re fortunate that Martin Aywlard has generously offered to lead our daily meditation sessions for Europe and the UK. To find out more about Martin, and to view his other contributions to Sangha Live, click here. View the text for the daily chants Martin offers this week Monday, April 6 Wednesday, April 8 Demands, defences…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christopher Titmuss – Week of June 6, 2022

    This week’s theme is: From Mindfulness to Clear Seeing. Clear seeing includes the past, present and future. Clear seeing includes dependent arising conditions for all three fields, so we do not become dependent on the present moment to realise the timeless. A timeless, limitless liberation embraces all three fields of time. Teachings this week will include the immense value and the limits of the here and now.

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of 05 May, 2025

    We are delighted to have Ulla Koenig guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May these offerings support and enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Touching Ground

    Whether it is the dynamics of the world that stir our hearts and minds, or personal challenges, as human beings we are confronted in many ways with the fragility of life. Touching ground, finding something to orient and trust in, is a deep need and yet not an easy endeavor. We dedicate this week to exploring the idea of taking refuge and translating it into a meaningful act that we can participate in no matter what.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Peace in this very everyday life.

    In the best of circumstances the path of life is a bumpy road. The practice of embodied presence opens the possibility to understand and transform our habits of dissatisfaction and distraction, and invites spaciousness and openness in our day-to-day lives. Becoming intimate, moment by moment, with living reality may expand our life-perspective and attune us…

    Read More