Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Christine Kupfer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Christine Kupfer – Week of April 10, 2022

    This week’s topic is “Body like a temple”. We often refer to the body as if it were a functional tool. We talk about my body, as if it were supposed to be at our service. Sometimes all it takes is one breath for everything to change, and in a dazzle, we experience body as a temple, a sanctuary for life. What is a temple? It is a sacred place, a place whose spiritual reality goes beyond the physical plane. In our daily meditations this week, we will bow to the miracle of the body that we are, honoring the presence of life unfolding in all its realities.

    Read More

  • Christelle Bonneau

    Body and space / matter and consciousness.

    How can we become more grounded and more intimate with ourselves while becoming more spacious and free from endless random mental chatter? Let’s explore in the ways in which the body is such a precious help for meditation practice and in mindfulness in everyday life. Let’s explore as well the central role of space, emptiness,…

    Read More

  • Sangha: You Are Not Alone!

    The Buddha’s insight that all things arise dependent on something else points to a universe in ongoing relational flow. When experienced directly, we know this flow to be love. Together we will open to receive the many ways we are touched by life through our connections to each other and the Earth, our ancestors and…

    Read More

  • The Wisdom of Equanimity

    The dominant culture treats unpleasant feelings as problems, and pleasant feelings as if we should experience them all the time. This is neither possible nor wise. How can we fully feel the beautiful and painful aspects of our lives so that we are strengthened and enriched by the depth and breadth of this human experience?…

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Trust in the Goodness of your Practice

    Basic goodness is the fundamental ground of your own heart and mind and being. A buoyant heart allows us to face the ‘infinite ocean of suffering’ and stay open-hearted; It is the foundation for living the Bodhisattva vows, it is how we keep on waking up and showing up and growing up, for the benefit…

    Read More

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of 01 September, 2025

    We’re delighted to have Sophie Boyer guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they enrich and support your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Equanimity – What Is Always At Rest

    Sophie Boyer will lead our Daily Mediations this week, inviting us to re-attune to what is always at rest, what never struggles, what never pushes or pulls. Join us to explore the non dual nature of life together.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of June 12, 2023

    This week’s topic is “All We All Need”. Meditation can be compared to an artist’s studio or an experimenter’s laboratory where we create what is necessary for well-being: connection, kindness, peace… What a wonderful blessing! Moreover, this is not just a gift we give to ourselves. Because of interdependence, we also provide what is essential for all beings.

    Read More