Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Patience: In Praise of an Undervalued Helper

    Patience can be one of those qualities which we think of as being theoretically helpful but feel little motivation to actually cultivate and strengthen. So much emphasis in our busy world of achieving goals and getting tasks done is about doing, taking action and fixing problems. We will spend this session exploring the benefits of…

    Read More

  • Illness, death, urgency and love.

    Yes, the Buddha repeatedly recommended that each of us contemplate our own aging, illness and death. But what gap do you feel between an abstract contemplation and the actuality of this fragile and limited life? With death rolling in like a mountain, quickly and from all sides, do you feel any samvega, or sense of…

    Read More

  • Eugene Cash

    Not Clinging to Anything in the World

    These words, spoken by the Buddha in the Satipatthana Sutta, point us to the potential for awakening inherent in mindfulness practice. Even now, in the midst of the pandemic of Covid-19, we can explore what it means to live a life of love, commitment and authenticity as we discover the freedom of not clinging to…

    Read More

  • Antonia Sumbundu

    Feeling Tone as a Door to Awareness, Compassion and Wisdom

    In this practice related talk, we will explore the profound concept of “Feeling Tone or Vedena” and how it serves as a gateway to deeper awareness, compassion, and wisdom in our lives. Feeling Tone, often referred to as the raw and immediate tonality of our experiences, holds the key to unlocking a more profound connection…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of 05 May, 2025

    We are delighted to have Ulla Koenig guiding our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May these offerings support and enrich your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Touching Ground

    Whether it is the dynamics of the world that stir our hearts and minds, or personal challenges, as human beings we are confronted in many ways with the fragility of life. Touching ground, finding something to orient and trust in, is a deep need and yet not an easy endeavor. We dedicate this week to exploring the idea of taking refuge and translating it into a meaningful act that we can participate in no matter what.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Potentizing Practice

    At various times, it can feel like meditation practice has become routine. That nothing is really moving or deepening. However, there are many ways to consciously potentize your practice. In this class at the wonderful new Sangha Live website, Martin explores various different ways of doing this. We also look beyond meditation, to three ways…

    Read More

  • Wiebke Pausch

    Embracing the Radical Act of Rest

    Global challenges, economic uncertainty, and information overload can trigger fear and anxiety, leading us to overactivity and survival mode driven by guilt or inadequacy. The simple act of resting offers a powerful path to liberation: connecting deeply with the body, trusting gravity, and finding the ease that naturally supports an awakened mind. What holds us…

    Read More