Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Bringing the world into the heart.

    What does it mean to bring the world into the heart? In these divided times, for those of us practicing peace, for those of us dedicated to liberation, we’ve been offered a grand opportunity to accept what we haven’t been willing to accept. To give what we haven’t been able to give. To love what…

    Read More

  • Developing the Power of Heart and Mind

    Power matters when free from any corruption of mind, gross or subtle. We need to develop our power rather than feel powerless, indecisive or exploitive. Power emerges from unification of our whole being, focussing on a priority and sometimes engaging in a level of boldness. The Buddha referred to four areas to develop inner power…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Ulla Koenig – Week of January 15, 2024

    This week’s theme is “Tending to Fire – An Exploration of the Third Noble Truth”. The third of the four noble truths, which the Buddha offered as a framework, invites us to reflect on ways to tend to the inner fires or urges, which we all experience. ‘Nirodha’ is a concept which invites us to explore ways to handle that fire: to contain it, to create safe space around it and not to fuel it further, so that it eventually expires. This week, we explore concepts like ‘freedom of/from/to’ as well as letting go and letting be.

    Read More

  • Wise Resolve: Finding Inner Strength

    In an effort to counter tendencies towards striving and over-achieving, many Western approaches to meditation and spirituality emphasize relaxation. While relaxation and ease are essential ingredients on the meditative path, they must be integrated with whole-hearted effort. How do we find inner strength and make a clear resolve that is informed by wisdom and balanced…

    Read More

  • Communication, Clarity and Consequences

    Everything that we write matters. Everything that comes out of our mouth matters. Important communications require calm and insightful reflection afterwards. Wisdom and Liberation of the voice support each other. Clear communication with another (spoken or written) expresses itself freely from the extremes of positivity and negativity. The middle way shows itself in exploration of…

    Read More

  • Sophie Boyer

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Sophie Boyer – Week of 30 March, 2026

    This week’s theme is: Allowance and Confidence

    The month of April will be dedicated to the exploration of “trusting the path”. Sophie Boyer will lead our Daily Meditations this week, inviting us to re-attune to presence. The more we allow life to lead, the more trust and confidence can expand. Join us to explore the here and now together.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Celeste Young

    Revealing The Heart’s True Nature: Resting in Metta

    In this session we will explore the Brahma Viharas: the boundless qualities of heart the Buddha taught. The more we practice, the more these qualities are revealed and expressed naturally through our being. They nourish not only us, but all those we come in contact with. Join us as we reveal the heart’s true nature…

    Read More