Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Ronya Banks

    Inner Peace in a Chaotic World

    In this session Ronya leads us on a journey of exploring the Buddhist principles and practices specifically designed to promote “inner peace” – even amidst a chaotic world. “Everybody wants a happy life. This goal is entirely dependent on our inner peace… We are trying to seek a joyful, happy life from the outside —…

    Read More

  • The Spectrum of Awareness Practices

      This session will explore different ways in which attention works and associated meditation practices: from focused awareness, to flexible awareness, to natural awareness. We’ll do a number of fun experiential practices in hopes of understanding a variety of ways to meditate and how we can refine our own practice. Diana draws from her latest…

    Read More

  • Wiebke Pausch

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Wiebke Pausch – Week of December 4, 2023

    This week’s topic is “Exploring the Art of Radical Rest”. Conditioned and surrounded by a restless culture, we are constantly driven towards self-optimisation and self-improvement. Our practice is often affected by the striving and the effort to become a perfect meditator. We will explore together how to rest in the midst of all that is unfinished and imperfect. When we allow ourselves to rest deeply, experience can unfold naturally and we come into contact with the very essence of being alive. 

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of Oct 25, 2021

    This week’s theme is Making Sense of Self.
    Although the Buddha encourages us to not indulgently ponder whether the self is real or not, he did offer us a way to explore how the sense of self appears. This methodology, called the khandhas (aggregates: the heap of heaps), exposes all aspects we gather together to create and hold to our sense of self: form (body); vedanā (subtle preference); perception; saṅkhāra (mental formations – like intention, attention…); and consciousness (knowing).

    Read More

  • The Importance of the Uplifting Experience

    The Buddha taught about life’s suffering—known as ‘dukkha’—and how our personal, social and global issues can weigh us down. Yet dukkha does not have the inherent power to stop ‘sukkha,’ or happiness, from breaking through. In this session, we will explore ‘upliftment’, and the joys that keep our spirit alive. Upliftment of the human spirit…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Jaya Rudgard – Week of Nov 22, 2021

    This week’s theme is Similes and Images from the Ancient Texts .Each morning this week we’ll dive into one of the images from the natural world and daily life that the Buddha used to explain his teachings. Let’s see how how these similes and metaphors from the Buddhist texts can support our understanding and enrich our practice. We may also discover how practising with them can enhance our appreciation of the world around us.

    Read More

  • Befriending the emotions.

    So often we struggle because we’re resisting, fixing, changing, or even “transcending” our experiences. What shifts when instead of pushing our emotions away, we invite them closer in? What changes when we learn to relate to our emotions like a welcoming friend? And, what changes when we are able to access the place in which…

    Read More