Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Deep Ground Living

    How can we live from the ground of presence, being ourselves in peace with others, while doing what needs to be done? This Sunday we’ll explore what is essential for living in the midst of life with both peace of mind and peace of heart.

    Read More

  • Zohar Lavie

    Everyday Equanimity; Shifting from Reactivity to Responsiveness

    The practice of equanimity supports us to find balance, stability and steadiness within the changing conditions of our lives. We can then respond with wisdom and compassion to whatever is unfolding. Equanimity is a fruit of the practice, as well as a way of relating that we can cultivate intentionally. We will explore ways to…

    Read More

  • The Power of Relational Awareness

    In this session, Oren Jay Sofer shares reflections on the basics of Mindful Communication, with particular focus on the internal foundations of successful communication. The talk explores some of the ways our silent contemplative practice can support our interpersonal relationships, while the Q&A delves into more specific issues of conversation and relationships.

    Read More

  • George Haas

    The meaningful life

    How can we use our meditation practice to repair attachment disturbances caused by our early conditioning, so that we can be completely ourselves in our relationships with others and in our work, as we pursue the path of awakening?

    Read More

  • Vimalasara Mason-John

    Let’s Talk about Meditation

    This class is an opportunity to explore our meditation practice, on and off the cushions. Meditation can be everything we do. It’s up to us whether we have a life of meditation or a life of daydreaming. Meditation will lead to freedom of your mind and daydreaming will lead to the enslavement of the mind….

    Read More

  • Vimalasara Mason-John

    Emptied Inside Out

    Vimalasara takes a look at some of the teachings that point to the insanity in life. Join her in taking a look at form, feelings, perception, mental formation and consciousness, and discovering every day that we can be reminded of the meaninglessness of these mental constructions.

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of 07 July, 2025

    We are delighted to have Nathan Glyde leading our Daily Meditation sessions this week. May they bring depth and ease to your practice.

    This week’s theme is: Caring Resolve

    Relieving suffering is the essential task of Buddha-Dharma, applicable to our inner and outer world. This calls for a spacious intimacy that is neither distant and indifferent, nor enmeshed and overwhelmed. Meeting pain with caring resolve loosens distress into ease, transforms reactivity into response, and liberates the limited heart into boundless connection.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More