Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • James Baraz

    Awakening Joy: Practice as a Path of Happiness

    Joy is both a Factor of Enlightenment and one of the four Divine Abodes. Today, as we are bombarded with news that heightens our fear and sadness about the world, more than ever it’s vital to understand the importance of joy as a central aspect of spiritual practice. We need to remember how to stay…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Jaya Rudgard – Week of October 3, 2022

    This week’s theme is “The Practice of Courage in Everyday Life”

    Courage is an essential quality in life and on the spiritual path and it comes in many guises. Anything that challenges our unhelpful habits requires a capacity for determination and the stretching of our comfort zones. This week’s morning meetings will reflect on some of the ways we can cultivate courage in meditation and daily life and resource ourselves to meet the challenges of living in these times.

    Read More

  • Nathan Glyde

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Nathan Glyde – Week of June 14, 2021

    This week’s theme is: Contentment Blockers

    The Buddha named five key ways access to contentment is blocked, and gave clear and profound teachings that break through to the peace, joy, and freedom they obscure.

    Our hearts and minds can be pulled into a mission of greed, or sucked into aversion and rejection. We often swing between restlessness and sluggishness. It is normal to doubt the possibility of developing our experience in more free and delightful ways.

    This week we will explore the possibilities available to us to calm habitual patterns and invite vibrant-tranquility.

    Read More

  • Jaya Julienne Ashmore

    When Less is More

    Gautam Buddha said he gained nothing from complete awakening. What are our everyday experiences of the magic of less? Trying less does not mean less energy, connection or insight. How little effort is needed to hear a sound or to feel the ground? Simply listening to a friend with ease and no answers can leave…

    Read More

  • Kittisaro

    The Two Fundamental Roots

    I reflect this Sunday on the profound Surangama Sutra teaching of the Two Fundamental Roots: The root of “beginningless birth and death,” and the “primal bright essence of consciousness.” The Buddha warns that not knowing these two essential principles renders one’s spiritual efforts into a doomed futility, like “cooking sand in the hope of creating…

    Read More

  • Chris Willard

    The Joy of Letting Go: Simplicity and Renunciation

    In our consumer culture, we fall for the illusion that more choice-in things, work, people, even spiritual paths-leads to more freedom, when often the opposite is true. As Jack Kornfield says, we live “in an era of unlimited desires but limited resources, when we think it’s the opposite.” More mindful awareness of our consumption isn’t…

    Read More

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Warrior heart: transforming anger into strength, dynamism and creativity

    Dharma teachings point to how dangerous and destructive anger is, and how words and actions can cause great suffering. This class looks at skilful means for meeting and exploring anger, and for understanding and transforming it. Martin leads a specially oriented meditation, and his talk explores the inner strength and confidence which can arise from…

    Read More

  • Yahel Avigur

    Daily Meditation Recordings with Yahel Avigur – Week of September 30, 2024

    This week’s topic is “Samadhi: A Path of Reliable Joy”. One of the central lines in the teachings of the Buddha, the practice of Samadhi is the skill of harmonized, gathered presence. It is based on mindfulness and discernment, leading to deepening wisdom. In this week of practice, we will cultivate a set of meditative skills that lead to such reliable joy.

    Read More