Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • photo of Martin Aylward smiling

    Daily Meditation Recordings, with Martin Aylward – Week of 16 February, 2026

    This week’s theme is: Going Gently Through the Dark

    A week of practice together, navigating both the darkness of winter and the inner states that can also feel dark, barren, wintry. A week of meditation and of community, of teachings and practice, or reminding ourselves of the preciousness and the possibilities of a flourishing human life.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Kate Johnson

    Finding Forgiveness: Processing the Past to Open the Present

    The Buddhist path is one of liberation through letting go. But when there’s been disappointment, betrayal, or harm, letting go can seem like a very tall order. Join us as we explore the spectrum of heart qualities on the way to forgiveness, and find a new relationship to the past that brings you more freedom in the…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Leela Sarti – Week of 16 March, 2026

    This week’s theme is: The Mystery of Being

    We often live entangled in memories, stories, and fixed images of ourselves and the world. We’re running behind, trying to catch up. We’re reacting rather than responding to life. Surely there is more to this earthly journey?
    The practice of sacred attention, of embodied awareness and presence, leads us to the mysterious ground of our nature.

    Our Dharma Library thrives through collective generosity. Your donation helps sustain this offering for our entire community.

    Read More

  • Lisa Ernst

    Working with Stress and Fear

    Not all stress is bad. Yet without mindful awareness, anticipatory stress may spiral into reactivity, paralyzing fear and suffering. How do we meet this stress mindfully, use it skilfully, then let go?

    Read More

  • Emily Horn

    The Phases of Insight

    Similar to the phases of the moon, our spiritual practice is full of natural rhythms and seasons. In this session we will learn a simple chart, called the phases of insight, that supports recognizing what can unfold at various points in meditation. By learning these patterns we can open our hearts with more confidence, and attune to…

    Read More

  • chris crotty

    Confidence in the Dhamma, Confidence in Yourself

    As we attune to the truth of impermanence (anicca) the very preciousness of life itself begins to penetrate our awareness: the flowers will not last forever, our dear friends will come and go, those we love will grow old. Even how we chop our vegetables matters if we wan’t to be touched by the the…

    Read More