Use code SUMMERPRACTICE for a 25% discount on all On Demand Courses through August 31.

The Dharma and the Drama of Sex: Everything you Wanted to know about Dharma and Sex but were too Spiritual to Ask

With Martin Aylward recorded on November 18, 2018.

Found our teachings useful? Help us continue our work and support your teachers with a donation. Here’s how.

Sex is everywhere. It’s how we got born, it teases us from advertising boards on every city street, it drives some of the biggest industries, and it provokes some of the most intense stimuli in body, heart and mind.

Yet dharma teachings, even in a lay context, mostly ignore sex. It is not spoken about enough, and Buddhism, like most other religions, usually defaults to either celibacy or long term monogamy as the only possibilities for wise sexual relationship. This is poor guidance and ignores the potency of sexual energy, the intensity of sexual desire, and the vital need to wake up around sex.

Meanwhile, we have a long, depressing and seemingly ever-growing list of Buddhist figureheads involved in sexual scandals, abuses and betrayals of trust. You cannot expect wise teachings on sexuality from (mostly male) teachers who can’t behave wisely, respectfully, or even consensually, in their own sex lives. And while Buddha has wise guidance on many things, would you go for advice on sex and relationship to a 2500 year old celibate Indian guy who ran away from his wife and called his son ‘Chain around my ankle’?

In this session, Martin explores the dharma and drama of sex. We look away from orthodoxy and tradition and towards 21st century life; exploring sexual history and desire, consent and conditioning, various forms of skilful sexual relationship, and a healthy approach to Tantra.

Listen to the audio version below, or click here to download the mp3.

Discussion

Leave a Reply

Discover more from the Dharma Library

  • Kittisaro

    The Two Fundamental Roots

    I reflect this Sunday on the profound Surangama Sutra teaching of the Two Fundamental Roots: The root of “beginningless birth and death,” and the “primal bright essence of consciousness.” The Buddha warns that not knowing these two essential principles renders one’s spiritual efforts into a doomed futility, like “cooking sand in the hope of creating…

    Read More

  • Daily Meditation Recordings, with Jaya Rudgard – Week of Nov 22, 2021

    This week’s theme is Similes and Images from the Ancient Texts .Each morning this week we’ll dive into one of the images from the natural world and daily life that the Buddha used to explain his teachings. Let’s see how how these similes and metaphors from the Buddhist texts can support our understanding and enrich our practice. We may also discover how practising with them can enhance our appreciation of the world around us.

    Read More

  • Deborah Eden Tull - Senior Dharma Teacher

    The Sacred No: Setting Conscious Boundaries Alongside Boundlessness

    To truly embody our Yes to life, we must equally honor our No. Liberating our minds and hearts and taking responsibility for our contribution to collective consciousness requires setting loving boundaries around authentic being. Sometimes, through spiritual bypass; concepts/ideas about mindfulness; or lack of distinction between being nice and being kind, we devalue the sacred…

    Read More

  • Scott Tusa

    Living From a Sense of Call and Response

    Deep listening goes beyond merely using our ears; it encompasses engaging our eyes, hearts, and bodies as well. As practitioners of meditation, we can also learn to listen with mindful awareness. In this session, we will explore how call and response, a musical concept, also applies to meditation and our daily interactions. Join us, and…

    Read More

  • Deborah Eden Tull - Senior Dharma Teacher

    Our sensitivity is our greatest strength.

    Being human is an inevitably vulnerable experience. The challenge lies in being taught that there is something wrong with us for feeling as sensitive and vulnerable as we do, We learn to cover up or numb out our sensitivity.Practice teaches us to turn towards, rather than away, from vulnerability, and allow it to affirm the…

    Read More

  • Bart van Melik

    Trusting Impermanence

    ‘All things fall apart’ was the Buddha’s last teaching before passing away. How can we live peacefully with this universal and challenging truth? In this session, we’ll practice how attuning to change supports letting go.

    Read More

  • Lisa Ernst

    Exploring Karma, Choice and the Mind

    Karma is action in Buddhism, driven by intention. With practice we cultivate the ability to choose our response and our actions, internally and externally. We might think if our intentions are good our actions will follow, but our intentions are often under the influence of strong conditioning that prevents us from living our choices. But…

    Read More

  • Ralph Steele

    Embodying cultural diversity: dancing with the basket of virtue

    Our Sangha has been predominately white since it branched off from the Asian countries. This Dharma talk offers a path for deeper inquiry and greater insight into how we can embody cultural diversity. The Eight Noble Truths will guide us toward a healthier way of conducting ourselves in the arena of cultural diversity, taking a…

    Read More